Howsuxlifecanbe!!

Its a summer break.
4 months. From end of May till end of September
YES, Boredom strikes!!!

I am working now to kill those free time violently.
I have no more friends from Nottingham. They've gone back to their origins.
I have my albam-bam friends. But I don't know where they are. Busy? Maybe? Plan? naaah Nothing works for now. Forget about it.
I go to work. Everyday except Tuesday. I have no friends. Even a single friend. Cause I am new, I am young, look nerd with appropriate smart style and some say educated. i've been isolated. Officially by the low, narrow minded colleagues there.
I have family. But they off to school and work. I spend my precious time with them whenever I could do so. I am so lucky cause when no one is here, they are there for me. Just for me.


My phone is always remain silent. No incoming messages, call alerts. I have friends, but they have closer friends. I have buddies but they have soul mates. I don't have soul mate cause I am still single. Standing here with no one. Well, being single isn’t bad. What is bad is giving up hope on finding that someone special.
Recently I have a crush. But I think I just being adored by her X-factor. I like her. But I dont know. Something call instinct shoot the heart. She claimed that Your ex needs you more. I am confused. Is is true? I was completely clueless and hopeless.
Thus, decided to stay alone. Sometimes you have to stand alone to prove that you can still stand.


I went back home. have a warm bath. Feel so fresh.
Loged in my Facebook account. No notification. Empty. Zero. Clean and Clear.
Friends? Naah busy I guess. yes I guess pessimistically. Maybe they have somebody more important and closer than me. Never mind, I'm getting used of it.
Being dumped when you are not needed but being taken when you are the main priority. Well, that's life. It's unfair. Always unfair.


I loged in my yahoo messenger, MSN, Skype. Too mane people were online. Too many too state.
But none of them is willing to knock my chat box. I don't mind. It doesn't looks important and doesn't sounds like one. I waited. Alone. For a long period of time.


I conclude that, YES summer break is killing me violently, torturing me slowly, isolating me rapidly from the world that I used to stay in.



I dont need attention.
I just need a piece of your precious time.
To be shared with an empty heart of mine.
I might be crying for myself to let it go, but who cares? None of them can hear my tears. None of them can see the eye drops and none of them can feel the empty lonely heart of mine.



My life is all about music, music and music.
I have no idea what to and with who should I share my story. I cant start a conversation.
I'm keeping myself silent. Inhaling the air of loneliness.
Don't imagine it, cause you cant reach the bottom level of the feeling. Cause I am dying slowly and you're enjoying your life peacefully.


I am walking. Still. Can't run for now.....



I'm shutting down my life. Hitting the sack will make me forget about everything. Let the dreams control my life. Beautification in every single dream will give me strength to get up and say Hello to Mr.Tomorrow.

Muhamad Safwan Pevensie